I'm not okay

I'm not okay. At all. I thought I've already over you. I thought I've already given up on you after that (undirect) confession. I keep telling myself I would go for someone else, you didn't deserve me. But truth is, I'm not deserve you. You're too perfect to be mine, I've known for awhile that you just want us to be friends. No more, no less. But the stubborn me keep hanging the hope that we'll be together, even until now. Even when all I can do is just staring your id chat when you're online, or away, or busy. Doesn't have enough guts to say hello. I pretend to be okay, I pretend to not care, but actually that fake attitude isn't me, it's you. I'm not okay, I care too much, I can't move on at all. When I say I want everything to be the way it used to be, I mean it. Please please, when you read this someday, do not push me away. Keep me as your friend, just like the old times. Because without you, I AM NOT OKAY

Final Goodbye

I reached my limit

Akhirnya gue bilang semuanya ke lo, walaupun gak terang-terangan tapi gue tau lo cukup pinter buat ngerti.

Tadinya gue pikir "what's the worst that can happen?" Toh gue ngerasa nyimpen ini semua udah cukup buat gue capek. Gak taunya respon akhir lo itu buat gue makin bingung,
Gue mesti ngerelain perasaan gue apa pertemanan kita?

Gue sedih banget, gak boong deh. Gue gak tau kapan bakal ketemu lo lagi, walaupun kata orang-orang pasti bakal ketemu/papasan suatu waktu, tetep aja gue ngerasa apa yang gue bilang ke lo bener-bener jadi final goodbye for us. Sakit? Pasti. Tapi gue gak tau kapan bisa move on dari lo kalo gue gak pernah jujur sama lo.

Dan gue cuma berharap, kapan pun kita ketemu lagi, we're gonna be different person with steady lover, jadi gue gak bakal berharap apa-apa dari lo lagi. Makasih ya buat semuanya :')

welcome 2011

hello

that was the word I always heard in 2010, especially when I went to college

so many 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' I heard last year, so much tears, pressures, struggles that me and my friends had last years, but in the end, we finally had the happiness and joy :)

I threw my so called future university, then I felt like I'm having karma for doing that. I didn't pass four university tests. I felt so low and almost gave up right before SNMPTN because it seemed impossible to pass that prestigious test.

"Tuhan itu baik loh, dia pasti ngasih sesuatu tepat pada waktunya"

somebody kept saying that to me, thanks to you I finally had my confidence in God by keep praying and studying ;)

And I thank to my almighty Jesus Christ for all things He has given to me :')

I passed SNMPTN, succesfully get the second option (yeah I got a bit upset, but still, THANK GOD)

and here I am, the college student of Communication Faculty in Padjadjaran University

nb. sori capek berbahasa bule, campur-campur dikit gapapa ye ;p

di Fikom yang uberkewl ini, gue dapet temen-temen dari berbagai tempat. ada yang dari Jakarta, Bekasi (iya itu masih sekota), Bandung dan sekitarnya, dan dari pulau-pulau di Sumatra dan Jawa. awalnya sih kurang nyaman gara-gara masih culture shock. di kelas isinya anak-anak SNMPTN otomatis dominasinya ya dari daerah. tapi akhirnya... I really really enjoy being one of them =D

so many hellos, so many goodbyes

pas wisuda kemaren, belom terasa sedihnya. tapi begitu misah di universitas masing-masing, terasa banget sedihnya. kangen sama becandaan, berantemnya, kerja samanya anak-anak rc0809, kangen sama kegilaan dan kekompakan anak-anak Mandi Madu, kangen sahabat-sahabat gue yang selalu nyiapin kuping dan waktunya kalo gue butuh curhat, dari yang gak penting sampe yang pake air mata buaya :')

hey girls and boys, I really miss you all

the good point, I'll never see THE boy that make my world upside down in a long time (at least that's what I thought)

gue kira saking lamanya gak bakal ketemu, nantinya pas ketemu lagi I will already move on and we can say hello in a very friendly way.

tapi tapi tapi :(

an unexpected thing happened, we finally meet again with my half-healed wound. I fell for him again, I gave my heart (again) to him, and the consequence, I drowned too deep for the same reason 7 months ago.

I’m a broken-hearted girl in the end of 2010

Sekarang, gue ambil tindakan tegas. Untuk kali ini gue terpaksa gak ketemu sama temen-temen gue buat menghindar dari dia. Gue (dengan agak berat hati) ke acara yang kalau dipikir-pikir, gak sepenting dari ngumpul bareng sahabat-sahabat gue itu. Yeah guys, blame him for making me a coward

Dan 2011, please be nice to me. I’m having UAS this week but here I am, blogging.

Resolusi buat tahun ini gak terlalu muluk-muluk lah kaya taun lalu, soalnya taun lalu itu bukti kalo Tuhan selalu ngasih yang terbaik buat gue di saat yang tepat :)

My ultimate 2011 wish :

Give the best, get the best, and being a better me

So please God and everyone, help me to complete this wishes

-smooches-