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that was the saddest moment in my teenage life

I (finally) cried over a boy

It's sad, not because the broken heart I felt, but because I did the taboo thing I wish I'd never did,

cried - over - a - boy

It has been almost seven months after that moment,

he never know what he's done to me until now, yeah maybe he knew a bit, but he surely didn't know the details.

we're friends now, a good one. better than before and I have no pressure anymore to behave or do good stuff in front of him. I thank God for that.

and know, after a little talk with my bestfriend, suddenly I remembered that moment again. I already forgave him, surely, whether he knew or not. but the memory just came back last night and I can't help but feel sad until now.

we move on, I know, and I do it too, but I miss the feelings, when I got texts from him, chatted with him, even when I got phonecalls from him. only the feeling, not the person (thank God)

I don't miss you

I miss me when I'm with you

You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.

And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.

No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight

Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.

For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.

You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky girl

Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.

Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky girl

Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me

The True Purpose of Industry

And I've tried to find happiness in a bigger TV, a car and a watch. I've tried to find happiness in power over others and the respect of the people around me. And I appreciate your patience, while you stand here, right in front of me.

Waiting for me to come to my senses.

postingan di kala bosen

got nothing to do here, so I decided to post some stuffs to my blog *boong banget padahal masih ada tugas statos sama persiapan role play besok* :p

anyway, I've been settling down in Jatinangor dan sedikit-sedikit gw lumayan bisa lah nyaman sama suasana sini. walaupun awalnya gw kurang betah, tapi karena ada bocah-bocah ini :

gw jadi mulai nyaman soalnya sebagian besar juga dari jakarta, bahkan ada yang dari 61, tetangganya sekolah gw, how small world it is ck

but in the other side, I felt a lil' bit uncomfy with my whole new classmates. dunno why, but maybe one of the reasons is my class consists of snmptn's grads. as you know then, most of my classmates are... yeah, non-jakarta people.

sorry sorry, I'm not being rude. I just wanna explain why in the beginning I didn't feel comfortable around them. kaya kata dosen gw nih, kalo komunikasi yang efektif itu terjadi karna adanya commoness, yaitu kesamaan. mungkin karna itu kali ya gw gak nyaman.

but but but, after a month or so, my faculty were having dies natalis or 50th birthday ceremony and we, the new collegers, had to attend the ceremony in Unpad DU, Bandung. ( I still don't know why we're having ceremony in bandung yet our faculty is in nangor, but why bother? ;p )

after that long and not-so-boring ceremony, me and some of my classmates had some 'photoshoots' then we headed to ciwalk to do karaoke-ing.

and oh gawd, they're so crazyyyy. they chose really random songs, as long as the song could make us screamed and danced.

oh here they are :

judge freely please, but one thing I've learned that don't ever judge people by their cover. and time by time, I'm almost comfortable around them. why just almost? because still, some of them are annoying and can't behave normally.

ah, I still miss my high school friends of course, but even the Bible says don't look back. I don't mean to forget them, I just thought that we can see our future if we don't keep remember the past all the time, right?

shoot, I have to sleep now, I have a roleplay contest presenting my class. tau kok gw, si gagu nina gaya bener ikutan lomba begituan sekarang? LOL. I have no idea either, maybe this is my lesson to be a better person? ;)

goodnight world, goodnight noises everywhere, goodnight you my other half :)

-smooches-

G.A.L.A.U

gak tau kenapa kata itu jadi ekspresi gw dan beberapa temen yang lain akhir-akhir ini, padahal kalo hectic weeks biasanya gw malah gak bakal kepikiran yang aneh-aneh sekarang kok berubah ya, hmm..

quick updates, I got sick few weeks ago, so sick I can't even go to college at that day. and lately I have to learn how to be a good friend for my new friends, their standards for "good friend" seemed different to me, but what can I do anyway?
and now, in this effin situation I can't be alone for just a moment because my mind will spin around and I'll be thinking about the past, the GOOD pasts.
I can't tell the details, but just moments ago, I suddenly remembered this thing:
yeah yeah, I know. I supposed to forget my 'used-to-be' college, but I'm just a human being. I regret for my decision, even just a little bit, but still I regret it. I have a dream to become a psychologist since I was only 12 y'o, but now I can't. *sigh*
I can't even continue this post. I'm too sad to tell my galauness right now. I need my real friends, who knows what to do when I'm in this effin situation, besides, I still have to complete my ass-ignment for tomorrow aargh.

goodnight people, goodnight world, goodnight you-in-other-city

-smooches-

brand new friendship

truthfully, I really don't know what I feel right now. do I still in love with you? or do I love you like I love the rest of the boys in our community?

please, please, treat me like you treat your other girlfriends. no more, no less. and don't use me as your excuse to your parents when the truth is you're with someone else, it's rude. it makes me numb.

now we start it all over again, as good friends. I really hope this can work out, though it feels weird being friends with the boy who used to made me cry almost every night, who made me fall head over heels, and pulled me in and out over and over again.

hello boy, let's make this brand new friendship out of drama and all shitties :)

ps. pardon my grammar :p

-smooches-

ospek osfak mabim

rasanya lama deh gak ngepost, sibuk ospek dkk sih :)

untungnya sekarang gw udah gak sesibuk dan serepot kemarin-kemarin, jadi bisa kembali aktif di blog hehe :p

heeem, sebenernya sekarang mau cur soal kegiatannya, but for some reasons, I have to speak wisely and pay attention with the content and the language. jadiiiiiiiiiiii yaa curnya sama orang-orang terdekat aja deh hihihi :D

intinya, ospek, osfak, mabim itu capeeeek, mental sama fisik lumayan diuji, mental lebih parah dari TO tapi fisik masih lebih parah TO sih, soalnya TO kan pake acara seri, lumpuran, lari kalo denger peluit (duh jadi kangeeen hiks :'( ) tapi MUNGKIN nanti ada outbond kali yaa, soalnya kalo ospek gitu kalo gapake outbond kurang gimaaans gitu, nyokap juga bilang gitu sih hehe

anyway I have to go now, some project need to be done today (sok bet nginggris)

-smooches-