Final Goodbye

I reached my limit

Akhirnya gue bilang semuanya ke lo, walaupun gak terang-terangan tapi gue tau lo cukup pinter buat ngerti.

Tadinya gue pikir "what's the worst that can happen?" Toh gue ngerasa nyimpen ini semua udah cukup buat gue capek. Gak taunya respon akhir lo itu buat gue makin bingung,
Gue mesti ngerelain perasaan gue apa pertemanan kita?

Gue sedih banget, gak boong deh. Gue gak tau kapan bakal ketemu lo lagi, walaupun kata orang-orang pasti bakal ketemu/papasan suatu waktu, tetep aja gue ngerasa apa yang gue bilang ke lo bener-bener jadi final goodbye for us. Sakit? Pasti. Tapi gue gak tau kapan bisa move on dari lo kalo gue gak pernah jujur sama lo.

Dan gue cuma berharap, kapan pun kita ketemu lagi, we're gonna be different person with steady lover, jadi gue gak bakal berharap apa-apa dari lo lagi. Makasih ya buat semuanya :')

welcome 2011

hello

that was the word I always heard in 2010, especially when I went to college

so many 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' I heard last year, so much tears, pressures, struggles that me and my friends had last years, but in the end, we finally had the happiness and joy :)

I threw my so called future university, then I felt like I'm having karma for doing that. I didn't pass four university tests. I felt so low and almost gave up right before SNMPTN because it seemed impossible to pass that prestigious test.

"Tuhan itu baik loh, dia pasti ngasih sesuatu tepat pada waktunya"

somebody kept saying that to me, thanks to you I finally had my confidence in God by keep praying and studying ;)

And I thank to my almighty Jesus Christ for all things He has given to me :')

I passed SNMPTN, succesfully get the second option (yeah I got a bit upset, but still, THANK GOD)

and here I am, the college student of Communication Faculty in Padjadjaran University

nb. sori capek berbahasa bule, campur-campur dikit gapapa ye ;p

di Fikom yang uberkewl ini, gue dapet temen-temen dari berbagai tempat. ada yang dari Jakarta, Bekasi (iya itu masih sekota), Bandung dan sekitarnya, dan dari pulau-pulau di Sumatra dan Jawa. awalnya sih kurang nyaman gara-gara masih culture shock. di kelas isinya anak-anak SNMPTN otomatis dominasinya ya dari daerah. tapi akhirnya... I really really enjoy being one of them =D

so many hellos, so many goodbyes

pas wisuda kemaren, belom terasa sedihnya. tapi begitu misah di universitas masing-masing, terasa banget sedihnya. kangen sama becandaan, berantemnya, kerja samanya anak-anak rc0809, kangen sama kegilaan dan kekompakan anak-anak Mandi Madu, kangen sahabat-sahabat gue yang selalu nyiapin kuping dan waktunya kalo gue butuh curhat, dari yang gak penting sampe yang pake air mata buaya :')

hey girls and boys, I really miss you all

the good point, I'll never see THE boy that make my world upside down in a long time (at least that's what I thought)

gue kira saking lamanya gak bakal ketemu, nantinya pas ketemu lagi I will already move on and we can say hello in a very friendly way.

tapi tapi tapi :(

an unexpected thing happened, we finally meet again with my half-healed wound. I fell for him again, I gave my heart (again) to him, and the consequence, I drowned too deep for the same reason 7 months ago.

I’m a broken-hearted girl in the end of 2010

Sekarang, gue ambil tindakan tegas. Untuk kali ini gue terpaksa gak ketemu sama temen-temen gue buat menghindar dari dia. Gue (dengan agak berat hati) ke acara yang kalau dipikir-pikir, gak sepenting dari ngumpul bareng sahabat-sahabat gue itu. Yeah guys, blame him for making me a coward

Dan 2011, please be nice to me. I’m having UAS this week but here I am, blogging.

Resolusi buat tahun ini gak terlalu muluk-muluk lah kaya taun lalu, soalnya taun lalu itu bukti kalo Tuhan selalu ngasih yang terbaik buat gue di saat yang tepat :)

My ultimate 2011 wish :

Give the best, get the best, and being a better me

So please God and everyone, help me to complete this wishes

-smooches-

The True Purpose of Industry

And I've tried to find happiness in a bigger TV, a car and a watch. I've tried to find happiness in power over others and the respect of the people around me. And I appreciate your patience, while you stand here, right in front of me.

Waiting for me to come to my senses.

postingan di kala bosen

got nothing to do here, so I decided to post some stuffs to my blog *boong banget padahal masih ada tugas statos sama persiapan role play besok* :p

anyway, I've been settling down in Jatinangor dan sedikit-sedikit gw lumayan bisa lah nyaman sama suasana sini. walaupun awalnya gw kurang betah, tapi karena ada bocah-bocah ini :

gw jadi mulai nyaman soalnya sebagian besar juga dari jakarta, bahkan ada yang dari 61, tetangganya sekolah gw, how small world it is ck

but in the other side, I felt a lil' bit uncomfy with my whole new classmates. dunno why, but maybe one of the reasons is my class consists of snmptn's grads. as you know then, most of my classmates are... yeah, non-jakarta people.

sorry sorry, I'm not being rude. I just wanna explain why in the beginning I didn't feel comfortable around them. kaya kata dosen gw nih, kalo komunikasi yang efektif itu terjadi karna adanya commoness, yaitu kesamaan. mungkin karna itu kali ya gw gak nyaman.

but but but, after a month or so, my faculty were having dies natalis or 50th birthday ceremony and we, the new collegers, had to attend the ceremony in Unpad DU, Bandung. ( I still don't know why we're having ceremony in bandung yet our faculty is in nangor, but why bother? ;p )

after that long and not-so-boring ceremony, me and some of my classmates had some 'photoshoots' then we headed to ciwalk to do karaoke-ing.

and oh gawd, they're so crazyyyy. they chose really random songs, as long as the song could make us screamed and danced.

oh here they are :

judge freely please, but one thing I've learned that don't ever judge people by their cover. and time by time, I'm almost comfortable around them. why just almost? because still, some of them are annoying and can't behave normally.

ah, I still miss my high school friends of course, but even the Bible says don't look back. I don't mean to forget them, I just thought that we can see our future if we don't keep remember the past all the time, right?

shoot, I have to sleep now, I have a roleplay contest presenting my class. tau kok gw, si gagu nina gaya bener ikutan lomba begituan sekarang? LOL. I have no idea either, maybe this is my lesson to be a better person? ;)

goodnight world, goodnight noises everywhere, goodnight you my other half :)

-smooches-

G.A.L.A.U

gak tau kenapa kata itu jadi ekspresi gw dan beberapa temen yang lain akhir-akhir ini, padahal kalo hectic weeks biasanya gw malah gak bakal kepikiran yang aneh-aneh sekarang kok berubah ya, hmm..

quick updates, I got sick few weeks ago, so sick I can't even go to college at that day. and lately I have to learn how to be a good friend for my new friends, their standards for "good friend" seemed different to me, but what can I do anyway?
and now, in this effin situation I can't be alone for just a moment because my mind will spin around and I'll be thinking about the past, the GOOD pasts.
I can't tell the details, but just moments ago, I suddenly remembered this thing:
yeah yeah, I know. I supposed to forget my 'used-to-be' college, but I'm just a human being. I regret for my decision, even just a little bit, but still I regret it. I have a dream to become a psychologist since I was only 12 y'o, but now I can't. *sigh*
I can't even continue this post. I'm too sad to tell my galauness right now. I need my real friends, who knows what to do when I'm in this effin situation, besides, I still have to complete my ass-ignment for tomorrow aargh.

goodnight people, goodnight world, goodnight you-in-other-city

-smooches-

ospek osfak mabim

rasanya lama deh gak ngepost, sibuk ospek dkk sih :)

untungnya sekarang gw udah gak sesibuk dan serepot kemarin-kemarin, jadi bisa kembali aktif di blog hehe :p

heeem, sebenernya sekarang mau cur soal kegiatannya, but for some reasons, I have to speak wisely and pay attention with the content and the language. jadiiiiiiiiiiii yaa curnya sama orang-orang terdekat aja deh hihihi :D

intinya, ospek, osfak, mabim itu capeeeek, mental sama fisik lumayan diuji, mental lebih parah dari TO tapi fisik masih lebih parah TO sih, soalnya TO kan pake acara seri, lumpuran, lari kalo denger peluit (duh jadi kangeeen hiks :'( ) tapi MUNGKIN nanti ada outbond kali yaa, soalnya kalo ospek gitu kalo gapake outbond kurang gimaaans gitu, nyokap juga bilang gitu sih hehe

anyway I have to go now, some project need to be done today (sok bet nginggris)

-smooches-

o***k

I'm exhausted, angry, sad, lonely
I feel wasted and have no power anymore
I know this is college life, I've expected it
but why it feels so miserable?
why I have to be scared, but have no respect to you all?

I received everything I needed

move on

this is the third post I made in a day, seems I have time to waste :)

I was just looking old photos of mine when I realized one thing, "what if I'm not ready to move on?"

when I was in high school, I was surrounded by people I love (and secretly hate, just some people ;p) and I was in my "comfort" zone.

they were my back-ups, my trashbins (when I was in jumpy mood), my mood-boosters, my reason to come to school, and also my frienemies

and now I have to say goodbye to all of them. yes, we go to different universities, mostly to UI, my used-to-be future university :(

am I ready for this? leave my "comfort" zone and go to extremely new situation?

huh, ready or not, this is life.I don't have any choices, right?

ugh, have to now, time to watch Princess Hours LOL

p.s pardon my language :)

-smooches-

F A T E

THANK GOD!

setelah bergalau ria selama 3 bulan dan gak ngepost apa-apa, akhirnya sekarang gw ngepost berita bahagia aka good news.

tanggal 16 Juli 2010 kemarin, gw dapet pengumuman yang gw gak sangka sama sekali, saya resmi diterima di Fakultas Ilmu Komunikasi Universitas Padjadjaran lewat SNMPTN pula :p

Puji Tuhan bangeeeet, gak nyangka sama sekali gw diterima disana, udah legowo sama untarnya aja gataunya dapet fikom unpad yang katanya bagus banget itu LOL :D

dan sekarang gw udah di jatinangor buat ngekos, padahal mulai ospek dan tetek bengeknya aja masih minggu depan.

homesick sih, tapi it's way better than not having any universities :)

udah ah, mau mandi dulu, terus tidur cepet, besok mau wawancara maba fikom soalnya hihihi :p

oiya, mau ngucapin HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST NERISSA ARVIANA :D have a blast one ya darl :*

dan besok puasa kan ya, jadi SELAMAT MENUNAIKAN IBADAH PUASA buat umat muslim ya

ciao peeps

~smooches

Beautiful Girl :)

gw lagi gloomy emang.

gadapet simak ngejatohin mental gw banget,

gw nangis seharian waktu pengumumannya.

tapi gw sadar,

nangis gak nyelesain masalah.

percuma aja gw nangis meraung-raung ky orang gila, toh gak bakal tiba-tiba gw dapet simaknya kok.

jadi, sekarang gw mau berubah.

gw sadar selama ini gw kurang belajar,

kurang berusaha,

dan yang paling penting, kurang berdoa.

Tuhan udah ngasih teguran yang cukup banget bikin gw sadar.

dan gw mau mulai berubah,

dari sikap, cara gw belajar, cara gw mendekatkan diri sama Tuhan, semuanya.

yaa gw mau ngikutin Astavida (Delapan Jalan Utama) buat ngilangin penderitaan menurut Buddha, yaitu :

• berpikir baik
• berniat baik
• berkata baik
• bertingkah laku baik
• makan minum baik
• berusaha yang baik
• perhatian yang baik
• semedi yang baik (kalo gw mungkin merenung yang bener kali ya)

wish me luck for this good changes people!

baidewei, gw lagi sukaaaa banget sama lagu ini,

check this out :

hope you enjoy it :)

-smooches-

31 INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT GIRLS

Just found this in my friend's Tumblr

1. When a girl says she’s sad, but she isn’t crying, it means she’s crying in her heart.

2. When she ignores you after you’ve done something wrong, it’s best to give her some time to cool down before touching her heart with an apology.

3. A girl can’t find anything to hate about the guy she loves (which
is why it is so hard for her to ‘get over him’ after the relationship’s over.)

4. If a girl loves a guy, he will always be on her mind every minute of the day, even though she flirts with other guys.

5. When the guy she likes smiles and stares deep into her eyes, she
will melt.

6. A girl likes to hear compliments, but usually not sure how to react to them.

7. When a particular guy flirts with a girl very often, a girl would start thinking the guy likes her. So if you treat a girl just as a friend, go easy on the smiles and stare ok?

8. If you don’t like a girl who likes you, break it to her gently.

9. If a girl starts avoiding you after you reject her, leave her alone for a while. If you still treat her as a friend, talk to her.

10. Girls enjoy talking about what they feel. Music, poetry, drawings and writing are ways of expressing themselves (which explains why most girls like writing journals).

11. Never tell a girl that she is useless in anyway.

12. Being too serious can turn a girl off.

13. When the guy she likes calls her for the first time, the girl may act look uninterested during the call. But as soon as the phone is back on the hook, she will whoop with joy and immediately start telephoning her friends to spread the news.

14. A smile means a lot to a girl.

15. If you like a girl, try making friends with her first. Let her get to know you.

16. If a girl says she can’t go out with you because she has to study, leave.

17. But if she still calls you or expect a call from you, stay.

18. Don’t try to guess a girl’s feelings. Ask her.

19. Hearing the words “I love you” is a great reassurance to a girl that she is beautiful.

20. After a girl falls in love with a guy, she’ll wonder why she never noticed him before.

21. If you need tips on how to flirt with a girl, read romance stories.

22. When class pictures come out, a girl would first check who is standing next to her crush before actually looking at herself.

23. A girl’s ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she loves now stays in her heart.

24. Girls love having fun!

25. A simple ‘Hi’ can brighten a girl’s day.

26. A girl’s best friend usually know best what she is feeling and going through.

27. Girls hate it when a guy pays attention to them just to get close to their ‘prettier’ friend.

28. Love means devotion, caring and happiness to a girl, in that order.

29. Some girls care about looks, some care about brains, but ALL girls want a guy who will love and care for them.

30. Girls want nothing more than to feel loved.

31. Girls always hope that they can always remain as friend with their ex. But never know how

-smooches-

nb. tomorrow's simak result will come.please pray for the best for me, you, and everyone :)

grade 12's pressures

HELLO, I'M BACK!

gak bakal sering-sering kaya dulu sih, tapi yang penting gw udah "bangkit" dari hiatus panjang haha :D

baidewei, gw gak mau ceritain semua kejadian dari mei 2009-januari 2010 ya, sekarang gw cuma mau cerita tentang... hm... kelas 12.

kelas 12 itu : exhausting. tiap hari les, di sekolah pm ini itu, belom lagi kalo ada waktu kosong temen-temen pada ngerjain soal apapun yang bisa ditemuin. males sih gw, tapi kan gondok juga sendirian gak ngerjain soal gitu, jadi yaaa.... ikut deh :p

daaaan gw memutuskan buat milih fakultas Psikologi sama Teknik Industri. yeah, ipc memang. tapi mau diapain lagi? daridulu cita-cita emang Psikologi, jurusan IPA juga mungkin memang yang terbaik buat gw di SMA ini hihihi

apalagi yaaa? OH! fyi, I really not over him 'til now -_______-

Roses are pretty, violets are too.... You used to hurt me, why am I still in love with you?

smooches :)