Final Goodbye

I reached my limit

Akhirnya gue bilang semuanya ke lo, walaupun gak terang-terangan tapi gue tau lo cukup pinter buat ngerti.

Tadinya gue pikir "what's the worst that can happen?" Toh gue ngerasa nyimpen ini semua udah cukup buat gue capek. Gak taunya respon akhir lo itu buat gue makin bingung,
Gue mesti ngerelain perasaan gue apa pertemanan kita?

Gue sedih banget, gak boong deh. Gue gak tau kapan bakal ketemu lo lagi, walaupun kata orang-orang pasti bakal ketemu/papasan suatu waktu, tetep aja gue ngerasa apa yang gue bilang ke lo bener-bener jadi final goodbye for us. Sakit? Pasti. Tapi gue gak tau kapan bisa move on dari lo kalo gue gak pernah jujur sama lo.

Dan gue cuma berharap, kapan pun kita ketemu lagi, we're gonna be different person with steady lover, jadi gue gak bakal berharap apa-apa dari lo lagi. Makasih ya buat semuanya :')

welcome 2011

hello

that was the word I always heard in 2010, especially when I went to college

so many 'hellos' and 'goodbyes' I heard last year, so much tears, pressures, struggles that me and my friends had last years, but in the end, we finally had the happiness and joy :)

I threw my so called future university, then I felt like I'm having karma for doing that. I didn't pass four university tests. I felt so low and almost gave up right before SNMPTN because it seemed impossible to pass that prestigious test.

"Tuhan itu baik loh, dia pasti ngasih sesuatu tepat pada waktunya"

somebody kept saying that to me, thanks to you I finally had my confidence in God by keep praying and studying ;)

And I thank to my almighty Jesus Christ for all things He has given to me :')

I passed SNMPTN, succesfully get the second option (yeah I got a bit upset, but still, THANK GOD)

and here I am, the college student of Communication Faculty in Padjadjaran University

nb. sori capek berbahasa bule, campur-campur dikit gapapa ye ;p

di Fikom yang uberkewl ini, gue dapet temen-temen dari berbagai tempat. ada yang dari Jakarta, Bekasi (iya itu masih sekota), Bandung dan sekitarnya, dan dari pulau-pulau di Sumatra dan Jawa. awalnya sih kurang nyaman gara-gara masih culture shock. di kelas isinya anak-anak SNMPTN otomatis dominasinya ya dari daerah. tapi akhirnya... I really really enjoy being one of them =D

so many hellos, so many goodbyes

pas wisuda kemaren, belom terasa sedihnya. tapi begitu misah di universitas masing-masing, terasa banget sedihnya. kangen sama becandaan, berantemnya, kerja samanya anak-anak rc0809, kangen sama kegilaan dan kekompakan anak-anak Mandi Madu, kangen sahabat-sahabat gue yang selalu nyiapin kuping dan waktunya kalo gue butuh curhat, dari yang gak penting sampe yang pake air mata buaya :')

hey girls and boys, I really miss you all

the good point, I'll never see THE boy that make my world upside down in a long time (at least that's what I thought)

gue kira saking lamanya gak bakal ketemu, nantinya pas ketemu lagi I will already move on and we can say hello in a very friendly way.

tapi tapi tapi :(

an unexpected thing happened, we finally meet again with my half-healed wound. I fell for him again, I gave my heart (again) to him, and the consequence, I drowned too deep for the same reason 7 months ago.

I’m a broken-hearted girl in the end of 2010

Sekarang, gue ambil tindakan tegas. Untuk kali ini gue terpaksa gak ketemu sama temen-temen gue buat menghindar dari dia. Gue (dengan agak berat hati) ke acara yang kalau dipikir-pikir, gak sepenting dari ngumpul bareng sahabat-sahabat gue itu. Yeah guys, blame him for making me a coward

Dan 2011, please be nice to me. I’m having UAS this week but here I am, blogging.

Resolusi buat tahun ini gak terlalu muluk-muluk lah kaya taun lalu, soalnya taun lalu itu bukti kalo Tuhan selalu ngasih yang terbaik buat gue di saat yang tepat :)

My ultimate 2011 wish :

Give the best, get the best, and being a better me

So please God and everyone, help me to complete this wishes

-smooches-

150410

that was the saddest moment in my teenage life

I (finally) cried over a boy

It's sad, not because the broken heart I felt, but because I did the taboo thing I wish I'd never did,

cried - over - a - boy

It has been almost seven months after that moment,

he never know what he's done to me until now, yeah maybe he knew a bit, but he surely didn't know the details.

we're friends now, a good one. better than before and I have no pressure anymore to behave or do good stuff in front of him. I thank God for that.

and know, after a little talk with my bestfriend, suddenly I remembered that moment again. I already forgave him, surely, whether he knew or not. but the memory just came back last night and I can't help but feel sad until now.

we move on, I know, and I do it too, but I miss the feelings, when I got texts from him, chatted with him, even when I got phonecalls from him. only the feeling, not the person (thank God)

I don't miss you

I miss me when I'm with you

You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me
And then you say, "Hello."
And I can hardly speak,
My heart is beating so.

And anyone can tell
You think you know me well.
Well, you don't know me.

No you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night;
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight

Oh I'm just a friend.
That's all I've ever been.
Cause you don't know me.

For I never knew the art of making love,
Though my heart aches with love for you.

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.

You give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky girl

Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
A chance that you might love me too.

Oh, you give your hand to me,
And then you say, "Goodbye."
I watched you walk away,
Beside the lucky girl

Oh, you'll never ever know
The one who loved you so.
Well, you don't know me

The True Purpose of Industry

And I've tried to find happiness in a bigger TV, a car and a watch. I've tried to find happiness in power over others and the respect of the people around me. And I appreciate your patience, while you stand here, right in front of me.

Waiting for me to come to my senses.

postingan di kala bosen

got nothing to do here, so I decided to post some stuffs to my blog *boong banget padahal masih ada tugas statos sama persiapan role play besok* :p

anyway, I've been settling down in Jatinangor dan sedikit-sedikit gw lumayan bisa lah nyaman sama suasana sini. walaupun awalnya gw kurang betah, tapi karena ada bocah-bocah ini :

gw jadi mulai nyaman soalnya sebagian besar juga dari jakarta, bahkan ada yang dari 61, tetangganya sekolah gw, how small world it is ck

but in the other side, I felt a lil' bit uncomfy with my whole new classmates. dunno why, but maybe one of the reasons is my class consists of snmptn's grads. as you know then, most of my classmates are... yeah, non-jakarta people.

sorry sorry, I'm not being rude. I just wanna explain why in the beginning I didn't feel comfortable around them. kaya kata dosen gw nih, kalo komunikasi yang efektif itu terjadi karna adanya commoness, yaitu kesamaan. mungkin karna itu kali ya gw gak nyaman.

but but but, after a month or so, my faculty were having dies natalis or 50th birthday ceremony and we, the new collegers, had to attend the ceremony in Unpad DU, Bandung. ( I still don't know why we're having ceremony in bandung yet our faculty is in nangor, but why bother? ;p )

after that long and not-so-boring ceremony, me and some of my classmates had some 'photoshoots' then we headed to ciwalk to do karaoke-ing.

and oh gawd, they're so crazyyyy. they chose really random songs, as long as the song could make us screamed and danced.

oh here they are :

judge freely please, but one thing I've learned that don't ever judge people by their cover. and time by time, I'm almost comfortable around them. why just almost? because still, some of them are annoying and can't behave normally.

ah, I still miss my high school friends of course, but even the Bible says don't look back. I don't mean to forget them, I just thought that we can see our future if we don't keep remember the past all the time, right?

shoot, I have to sleep now, I have a roleplay contest presenting my class. tau kok gw, si gagu nina gaya bener ikutan lomba begituan sekarang? LOL. I have no idea either, maybe this is my lesson to be a better person? ;)

goodnight world, goodnight noises everywhere, goodnight you my other half :)

-smooches-

G.A.L.A.U

gak tau kenapa kata itu jadi ekspresi gw dan beberapa temen yang lain akhir-akhir ini, padahal kalo hectic weeks biasanya gw malah gak bakal kepikiran yang aneh-aneh sekarang kok berubah ya, hmm..

quick updates, I got sick few weeks ago, so sick I can't even go to college at that day. and lately I have to learn how to be a good friend for my new friends, their standards for "good friend" seemed different to me, but what can I do anyway?
and now, in this effin situation I can't be alone for just a moment because my mind will spin around and I'll be thinking about the past, the GOOD pasts.
I can't tell the details, but just moments ago, I suddenly remembered this thing:
yeah yeah, I know. I supposed to forget my 'used-to-be' college, but I'm just a human being. I regret for my decision, even just a little bit, but still I regret it. I have a dream to become a psychologist since I was only 12 y'o, but now I can't. *sigh*
I can't even continue this post. I'm too sad to tell my galauness right now. I need my real friends, who knows what to do when I'm in this effin situation, besides, I still have to complete my ass-ignment for tomorrow aargh.

goodnight people, goodnight world, goodnight you-in-other-city

-smooches-